Last week’s WIB luncheon was spectacular. Mothers were acknowledged with gratitude for what they gave their daughters, the now grown-up speakers on the platform. And I thought of mine.
There are those memories that are as clear today as they were when formed, very long ago. I was probably a sophomore or junior in high school. My dad, mom, 1 older brother, Doug, and I lived on 10 acres in Bath, Ohio (north of Akron) with a great creek, loads of trees, groundhogs and sometimes deer. We call home “1157″ — that was the street number and the street name was very long.
Most every night my mom would come up to my bedroom to say goodnight. On 1 warm, close summer night, she sat on the edge of the bed, the open window was open let in the almost-too-sweet fragrance of the lilac. I’m not sure what we talked about (ok, that ‘crystal clear’ stuff i said at the beginning, please give me some poetic license), but somewhere in the conversation she paused and said: “Be your own person.” Then said “Goodnight” and left.
I don’t know what the context was. I do know time stopped when she said it. Was it guidance or a reprimand because of something I’d done that day? Was I not being my own person or did I succeed? Was it more about her than me? Was it the “being a woman” talk that transcended the sex talk?
Whatever it was, I embedded in my heart what i intrepret as my mom’s wish and commitment for me to be my own person. To stand on my own, to not forsake myself. It isn’t a rule so much as it is an inquiry. The meaning changes with the context I find myself in. What doesn’t change is the courage her words give me to get conscious of who I am right now.
What message did your mom give you? What message are you giving your daughter?
